Am I the only one in the world that has issues getting my kids ready for school in the mornings? Sometimes it seems to be an endless battle. I know that the dynamics in each family are different according to how many kids verses how many parents. But I thought I would share my ideas in the chance that they might help some parents.
There has been an ongoing issue with my daughter regarding getting out the door to school on time each morning. Even when I wake her up very early she still seems to muck around every morning. she is regularly late for school by a few minutes and this is a source of frustration for me.
The first thing you should do with a child reluctant to get out the door to school is to talk to them about what happens at school. Are they being bullied? Is there a reason that they don't want to go to school ? Once you have eliminated anything there, then you will need to come up with a plan of attack for how to turn this problem around.
It is important to find a positive way to deal with the problem if at all possible. Perhaps a sticker chart or something that they can get every day to start off with, depending on the age of the child. But early on the rewards should be pretty immediate. Then as the child catches on the rewards can be a bit further apart.
You need to exhaust all the possibilities of positive consequences before thinking of turning to a negative consequence as positive consequences really do work better. Unfortunately for my daughter I had to use a negative consequence this morning, on account of her throwing a tantrum. That was something I would not have expected to see from a ten year old.
Becky is finally gone to school now and it's time to dream up her consequence. Because she chose to throw a tantrum like a little child I have decided to deprive her of some things that are reserved for older girls. I shall be taking away her favorite earrings and also a few random items of "grown up" clothing. They will go up into my top cupboard. Beck will be devastated but I will explain to her that those kinds of things are reserved for girls who act their age and don't throw tantrums.
It is important to make the crime match the punishment as closely as possible. I don't know if I have got it exactly right today. But I figure that if a child of mine is still throwing a tantrum at age ten, perhaps she should not be wearing grown up clothes.
I shall have a chat to Beck after school today and explain my reasons behind my actions. The good thing is that I will give her a chance to earn her clothes and jewellery back very quickly. If she can show me three days getting off to school on time again I will quickly produce her favorite earrings again. I want to show her that the quality of her life is directly related to the decisions that she makes.
There has been an ongoing issue with my daughter regarding getting out the door to school on time each morning. Even when I wake her up very early she still seems to muck around every morning. she is regularly late for school by a few minutes and this is a source of frustration for me.
The first thing you should do with a child reluctant to get out the door to school is to talk to them about what happens at school. Are they being bullied? Is there a reason that they don't want to go to school ? Once you have eliminated anything there, then you will need to come up with a plan of attack for how to turn this problem around.
It is important to find a positive way to deal with the problem if at all possible. Perhaps a sticker chart or something that they can get every day to start off with, depending on the age of the child. But early on the rewards should be pretty immediate. Then as the child catches on the rewards can be a bit further apart.
You need to exhaust all the possibilities of positive consequences before thinking of turning to a negative consequence as positive consequences really do work better. Unfortunately for my daughter I had to use a negative consequence this morning, on account of her throwing a tantrum. That was something I would not have expected to see from a ten year old.
Becky is finally gone to school now and it's time to dream up her consequence. Because she chose to throw a tantrum like a little child I have decided to deprive her of some things that are reserved for older girls. I shall be taking away her favorite earrings and also a few random items of "grown up" clothing. They will go up into my top cupboard. Beck will be devastated but I will explain to her that those kinds of things are reserved for girls who act their age and don't throw tantrums.
It is important to make the crime match the punishment as closely as possible. I don't know if I have got it exactly right today. But I figure that if a child of mine is still throwing a tantrum at age ten, perhaps she should not be wearing grown up clothes.
I shall have a chat to Beck after school today and explain my reasons behind my actions. The good thing is that I will give her a chance to earn her clothes and jewellery back very quickly. If she can show me three days getting off to school on time again I will quickly produce her favorite earrings again. I want to show her that the quality of her life is directly related to the decisions that she makes.
About the Author:
Kim Patrick is a single mom with four children who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is a best selling author as well as a child behavior managementexpert and her book on raising children can be found on her web site www.mychildcanbehave.com
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